Miss Eliza just had tubes put into her ears this morning. I was thinking of describing what my life has been like since she has been born. She has suffered and been in pain from the day she was born. First she dealt with colic, then acid reflux, then as soon as we get her acid reflux under control she started having cronic ear infections. The poor baby has been in pain her whole life. My life as a mother has stopped completely. She has cried her whole life. So the natural thing as a mother would be, to do what it takes to make her happy. So she has rarely left my arms since birth. My life has stopped. I have watched others lives go on and I sit in life standing still. I don't know if even what I am saying make since but a nurse at the surgery center had a granddaughter with the same problem and she new exactly what I have been going through and understood. I pray with all my heart that these ear tubes will finally bring her out of pain and into a whole new world for her. I have caught glimpses of her true sweet spirit and I know there is a tender happy girl in there. She had a blessing last night that said she would be happy again and out of pain.
I have had a blessing that has told me that I have lessons to learn in helping her and that she is preparing me for later trials in life. At first thought you may think oh heavens what trials will she be going through but I feel okay about it all. I feel grateful to have her in my life and grateful that she is helping me learn things that I need to learn. We came home from the surgery center this morning and she smiled so big. She smiled like I haven't seen her smile in months. She has been happy and has played on the floor without me needing to be with her every second. She has been exploring instead of looking to see where I am at. She is showing signs of the baby I know that she is. The first picture is my baby. My Eliza. The sweet little spirit I grew to know the day she was born. I pray with all my heart that my lessons are over and I have learned what I need to. I pray even more that she will be out of pain for good and can enjoy her life on this earth. I know that life is about trials but she is so little to have to learn from the painful trials.
December Porch 2017
4 weeks ago