I love babies. Doesn't everyone? At this time in my life now that the holidays are over and the next big thing in my life is the arrival of our new little one, I have been pondering. It really is much easier being Aunt than it is being mom. These sweet little girls I could cuddle and wuddle and when they got to be too fussy I could hand them back to momma. I am now getting worried about my little one. Having not planned this one, and being in surreal mode, what will life be like when you can't give them back. With these sweet babies I was calm and not stressed out. I still had a bit of sleep deprivation but nothing compared to getting up for hours in the middle of the night. I know what most of you may be saying you have done this before and you can do it again. Well that may be true but you don't know what things I am feeling nor could I actually get it on paper really. There are pluses and minuses to having more and not having more. Plus -you can hold them whenever you want and your kids can hold them whenever you want. Minus- All babies get fussy and that is tough at times. Also I am feeling a bit resentful towards Primary. I want to enjoy this baby and give he/she, me. That is hard to do when you have something that encompasses your life so much. Primary may not always be physical but it is always something you have to think about and worry about. I didn't answer my phone at all yesterday because I didn't want to get back to that reality. I really am in a predicament huh?? I really have enjoyed being pregnant-with exception to 1st trimester. I hate to think it will end because then the hard part starts. I still have so many things to do and I want to act like Primary doesn't exist. I am sure that makes me the just a horrible person. Maybe a blessing, that might help with such an attitude. I read back on this and it sounds like I don't want to have a baby. On the contrary. I do its every thing else that I don't want to do. YOu add all those other I don't want to do's and it drags down the I do want to do.
I am a very busy mother of 7 wonderful children. So my life is never dull. We are quite the zoo I am realizing but who doesn't love the zoo right? This blog has become my journal so you will see the good along with the ugly but thats our life.